So McBaby and I did a roadtrip to visit my parents and he was soooo cool on the way down and back. Minor irritation, but only because I’m not a happy traveler.
While we were down there he was a tad rambunctious, but I think it was because my mom completely indulges him. She jumps when he says “I want ____”.
She spoils him with cookies, ice cream and chips (then wonders why he doesn’t eat dinner).
She asks him “Do you love Gran-Gran???” and kisses him about a million times an hour.
I enjoy watching them together. Though I know that when we leave her it’s time for major de-programming.
I love my son. Sometimes I sit and stare at him and think about how beautiful he is and how I happy I am simply because I know him. He’s by far, the coolest kid on the planet…. yeah, sounds mom-like, but it’s so freakin’ true.
But here’s the deal… Kids are major fuckin’ assholes. Yeah, they’re cute… and they say the darndest things… yet, for most parts of the day, you’re thinking to yourself, “gosh, this dude is such a fuckin’ asshole!”
They are assholes because they push our buttons. They set off our triggers. But what I’ve learned is that any relationship worth having is one that pushes your buttons and stretches you to your limits.
When I was walking through Target the other day, I saw a woman with her child. He was adamant about having some Scooby Doo gummy thingies… this woman wasn’t having it. She had a convo with him that went like this:
Him: I want some gummy *whateverthefucks*
Her: But those aren’t good for you… how about some granola bars?
Him: NO! I want the gummy *whateverthefucks*
Her: Casey, (don’t remember the name so I used Casey) it’s almost dinner time. Let’s just get some granola so that you can have it for breakfast in the morning.
Him: MOMMMM, GUMMY WHATEVERTHEFUCKS, GUMMY WHATEVERTHEFUCKS!!!
Her: Do not raise your voice at me!!! WE ARE IN PUBLIC!!! Do you want me to give you something to yell about?? (blah, blah, blah)
Okay, that’s all I remember. One thing I neglected to mention in this story was that the mom was a pretty LARGE woman. See, it’s not likely that she’s going to be able to teach self-control to her child because she has very little self-control…. obviously when it comes to food.
You can’t teach what you haven’t got!
That’s anything from patience, to coping skills, to controlling yourself. You have to work on yourself first…. or your kids will think you’re a hypocrite.
I’ll admit, I have little self-control… a dress from my favorite store even while I’m on a budget. OH YEAH!!! A trip to Baskin-Robbins even though I need to lose a few… I’M IN! A late night of drinking and hanging out, knowing that i have to be at work hella-early… SWEET! I also have zero patience… I’m an Aries, whaddya expect?
Coping skills, I’m cool. If a rum and coke won’t fix it, then a joint definitely will. (Just kidding! …sorta.) Truly, I am able to adapt to almost every situation. I am completely conscious of my shortcomings and am proactive about correcting them. That’s what drives me.
Being a mom means that I have a huge ass mirror in front of me at all times… showing me my flaws and what I need to work on. The situation is a teaching and learning experience wrapped up in one.
So when it comes to parenting, remember that:
1) Kids are assholes.
2) You’re an asshole and your kids will hate you for 5+ years no matter what you do and/or they’ll end up in therapy or jail.
And 3) If you want to do right by your kids, work on yourself.
Since you can’t teach (your job as a parent) them what you haven’t got, then you better develop whatever you suck at ASAP.
