Parenting 101

This is the way that I parent… it works for us.  If it works for you, great.  If not, I hope you find a way that feels good to you and produces positive outcomes for your child.

1.  Every choice comes with a consequence and a restriction of other available choices.

I’ll be there to explain your choices to you before and after you make them.  I understand that making mistakes is the only way you learn.  By helping you learn from your choices, I am teaching you to be responsible.

2.  If you need help, ask for it.

I’ll encourage you to try to figure it out or do it on your own.  If that doesn’t help, I’ll show you ‘how to help yourself’ until you get it.   We’ll work together until you realize that you have more power than you originally thought.  This will teach you how to cooperate, ask for what you need, and be confident in your own abilities.

3.  If something doesn’t make sense to you, seek to understand by asking questions… it is okay to question an adult.

I will gladly explain any rule that I make up.  Your opinion matters to me.  I will be honest with you and speak to you at your level of development.  This will help you make sense of your world and understand your place in it.  You are an authority, even when you’re wittle.

4.  However you feel is OK.  Acting on those feelings is not always OK.

I will show concern for your feelings and teach you how to express them constructively.  By me not getting overly frustrated or upset at you by your attempts to express your negative feelings, I will demonstrate what it means to have self-control.  The only person that you can control is you.  You have to learn to control yourself so that you stay safe and healthy.

5.  You are loved.  You are valuable.  You are important to a lot of people.

I will make sure that you know that.  When you love and value someone, treat them like you do and tell them that they are important to you.  This will teach you gratitude, respect for others (and yourself), and help you have healthy relationships.

6.  Reading is important and so is artistic expression.

Whenever you say that you’re bored, I will direct you to the wonderful world of books, paints, or lined paper.  You can never be bored if you use your imagination.  Life is play! Just have fun playing the game and you will learn a lot in the process.

7.Your emotions, your thoughts, your dreams, and your physical presence are all safe with me.

I will protect you when I am able to, as well as let you fall sometimes, knowing that you won’t get completely damaged.

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Now hopefully my kid won’t turn into the next uni-bomber or something… but I think that the way I do things will set him up to be a responsible and happy adult, and be bathed in the comfort of love and acceptance on his way.

Parenting is hard as hell, but I think I’m up for the job because I treat others the way I want to be treated.  The tips above work for pretty much all of my relationships.  As a parent, all I can do is my best… that’s all you can do, too.

Jesus Christ!

Jesus may have walked the earth. Jesus may have been a teacher. But Jesus did not write the words that you are reading out of that book.

Those words were written well after his death… they were written by people who *may* have (definitely) had something to gain from writing them… then they were transcribed by others who *may* have had something to gain from transcribing them.

Jesus was NOT all sunshine and rainbows. Even in the bible… sometimes, his actions contradicted his words… he definitely JUDGED others…he CURSED others… and was kind of a loose cannon.

The biggest hoax that I think comes from the bible and its interpreters is that Jesus was somehow better than you. …That Jesus was God and you are not.

It’s cool to take the teachings of Jesus seriously. It’s even cool to live your life that way if that’s how you feel it would be best for you. But truth is not just in a book. Truth comes from experience. It comes from flashes of intuition (from god, if that’s what you think). When you try to put truth into words, it gets diluted.

You can experience limitless joy… but to have any kind of “beliefs” is to live in chains. Believing that you have it all figured out is arrogance… even if you dress it up with pseudo-humility. Life is mysterious. Enjoy the experience without any preconceived notions of “truth”.

Everything is Getting Better…

Sure, I’m with you on the idea that banks, corporations and shareholders who run huge companies don’t care… a lot of them don’t give a damn. But then again… others among them DO care.

In today’s world, I see MORE caring not less.

I went out to lunch this weekend with a girlfriend and we talked a lot about the state of the world. She is a 3rd year law school student, and she REALLY cares… not about money, but about helping others. Her and her husband (an attorney) assist low-income families during weekend “legal-aid” clinics.

Another girlfriend of mine was busy with her kids this weekend putting together baskets for people for Thanksgiving… her own money and food to help people she doesn’t know.

There are millions of people who recycle now. There are millions of people who use energy-efficient light bulbs.

There are millions (?) of people involved in groups which help our environment. There are lots of people who carpool, bike to work, or drive fuel-efficient cars.

One of my friends works at a dilapidated public school because she wants to make a difference, even though she could get paid a lot more at a private school nearby.

I meet business owners every day who really care about doing the right thing…And these business owners, despite the so-called “poor economy” are still putting their customer’s needs first, and really providing value. There are many small business owners who I personally know, who go out of their way to take care of their employees, too. I see some really amazing things on my travels around my city.

I also see people being a lot more tolerant, more interested in one another’s opinions, and more civil in conversation.

Hell, the fact that we’re all here reading about what’s happening in the world must show you that at least some people care.

I guess it’s all how you look at things.

I don’t think that it’s that people “don’t care” about the greater good — I think that OBLIGATORY caring is a possible problem.

The media tells you what to care about.
Your family/friends tell you what to care about.
Your manager tells you what to care about.
Your church leaders and politicians tell you what to care about.
When you finally step away from the noise of all of these influences, it makes sense that you would care mostly about yourself… that’s what happens.

I could go on about this but I’m too tired to write more right now… really tired. It’s not that I don’t care…

Pissing On Your Celebrations

Nothing is real…

Nothing that we have been told is real… our whole lives have been a fabrication… destined towards slavery.

It’s St. Patrick’s Day and I’m supposed to celebrate the freakin’ Irish today. I have nothing against the Irish… then again, I really care nothing about them either…because I care about individuals and not some group, “nationality”, or religion… but here we go again. I can’t seem to get away from people being “proud” of who they are rather than what they DO.

Yeah, it’s cool…green beer, corned beef, drinking all day… I can’t argue with that… but what does it really mean?

I’m not trying to stop celebrating certain things… because anyone who knows me knows that I LOVE a PARTY…but come on….what are we celebrating? Does anyone stop to think? Nationalism. That’s what we celebrate. Group-ism…that’s what we celebrate. I can’t stand that shit.

If I were Emperor for the day, I would declare Universe-Yurii Day, where everyone paints, plays, and acts like their real selves. I would declare Universe-Joe Day wherever is honest, intelligent, strong, and hilarious. I would declare Universe-Kiersten Day where everyone acted intelligently, pushed themselves to their limits and had curiosity for the world around them.

Irish Day, St. Patrick’s Day, is just an excuse for all of us to be the alcoholics (or-anything-we’re-addicted-to-type-of-people) that we are… sans guilt. I’m annoyed by what we celebrate… and I have been for awhile.

St. Patrick’s Day? Really? A Roman Catholic/Church of Ireland relic?
St. Valentine’s Day? From Medieval Times?
Christmas? Easter? For real? Watch Zeitgeist.
The Fourth of July? Patriotism? For what?

I just want to know what I’m supposed to celebrate. I don’t care about the “nation”. I have no feelings of kinship with any “race”. There’s nothing for me to celebrate. Why can’t I just celebrate every day? Why do I need some holiday, either national or non-national, to celebrate? My life is good. Actually, even with all of the minor occurrences…it’s great. Can’t I just celebrate life…each moment? I kinda do that anyway.